Sitting in the backyard and in front of me there was my lovely man grill some pork and mushroom for dinner. The night is warm, we had a nice chat and spent a quality time together, you can’t pay this moment with money for sure. I don’t know why the thought of tomorrow, we will celebrate the longest day this year and brought me to think about those two situation where people could end up in life, being judge as a bad guy or even judge and named as a bad guy.

Well, being a bad guy is a choice but of course there is always a personal reason why one turn become a bad guy. Besides that, every person has their own opinion and description what the bad guy is. How you will say to yourself that one is bad guy? First of all, before you judge someone is a bad guy, you have to learn or at least get to know them for quite sometimes to be able to say to yourself that that person is a bad guy. Secondly, before you judge someone is a bad guy you have to reflect to yourself what the particular person did (but you have to put your ego aside when you do this) until you decide to put a label on her/him. Thirdly, maybe you have to ask others’ opinion, others who sit in the neutral ground and watch from outside your box. Hmmm, shall I say to get second point of view! I don’t denied that there are people out there has decision to be a bad guy but there are many people too who are named as a bad guy. Sometimes I wonder why…

The reason might be something personal or situation where those people don’t have any choice to avoid being named as a bad guy. I’ve learned in life that sometimes you have to just accept it when you are named as one rather than wasting your energy to fight and try to erase that label. If you happen to be in one of those situation, you better accept as it is because at the end you are the one who learn about something and not the other way. You better use your energy to do something better, because as one said… silent is a gold! I know, it is easier to say than to do but trust me… I’ve been there so many times and if I can do it, I’m sure all of you could do the same. I’ve tried to fight for not having a label as a bad guy but after it happens so many times, I understand that there is nothing that I could do. I can’t control every single person in this planet, I can’t make everyone happy. It is better I continue to live my life as I believe because I know at the end all of us will see the truth. It may takes a longer time to wait for the truth to show up, it may break our heart or we might end up in the situation that we can’t bear the pain but don’t give up because if we are the one who are smiling in the end, for me… I don’t mind to take those hurtful feeling now!

Don’t call me an angel because I am not and I am not a Saint either! I made thousand mistakes but I’ve learned my lesson!! Am I a bad guy? I could be because I am still a human being. If someone nice to me, I could be twice as nice as that person but if someone is doing something bad then I could become a real bitch who could do twice as bad as that person did to me. I’m still learning to not doing that, especially the last one, sometimes I can forgive and forget about it but sometimes it is just still hard to not follow those lines. Have I been in the situation that I am named as a bad guy? Often! But the more often I got those label the stronger I become because I can challenge myself to have my own race to show that it is just a label after all. Karma is exist and don’t be afraid if someone judge and named you as a bad guy, be brave to take it as a lesson in life!

I am lucky enough having people who love me as I am in my side, they know me so well. They will tell me the truth straight away, they will not hiding anything, they will remind me every time I made mistake. They will give me chance to make it better, give me time to pay everything that I’ve done to them especially when I did bad thing. Those people never judge me, they will discuss everything before the put a label on a person. Sometimes there are tears, fears and anger involves in our debate but as always it ends up with smile and understanding, no hate at all!! I hope that you have the same people around you who care and want you to grow become a better human being as I do.

Once again, I am no angel! I don’t mind being named as a bad guy when I speak the truth, when I am being so true to myself,  or even when I do nothing to get that label because I know and I have proven that… the time will help me to see the one who is standing tall at the end!!! Be yourself and learned your lesson… and you will be find at the end!

Stockholm, dym 20062013